For My Daughters

I have been blessed with three little girls.  So basically my home is filled with lots of pink, drama and Barbies.  When I was pregnant with my third and found out the gender I was worried that my husband would be disappointed, but he wasn’t.  I suppose we were meant to be a family of girls.  We couldn’t love them more.  In honor of my daughters, who seem to fill every moment of my day, I wanted to write a letter to them.  I want to give them 20 pieces of advice to help them navigate this treacherous journey called life.  And I want to have this in print so I can refer to it when the moment presents itself.

Daughters, Sisters, & Friends

1.  Don’t be ashamed to play with dolls or toys until you’re a teenager.  There is no shame in it.  You only get one childhood and you only get so many years to play, so play hard.  Childhood is fleeting and you need to enjoy every minute.  I PROMISE I won’t tell your friends/dad/sisters if you don’t want me to.  I’ll even yell at them if they dare make fun of you.  To be honest, it makes me sad to think of a day that I don’t get to hear your little imagination come to life.

2.  Kids at school are going to tell you all kinds of weird stuff.  Always check with me before you believe ANY of it.  I know for a fact one of my brothers thought his friend’s grandpa was buried in the school playground and I had one girl tell me that she saw a human hand come out of the floor of her bedroom. These kids are full of it.

3.  If the boys are chasing you, pulling your hair, hitting you, making fun or any/all of the above this means that they like you.  I hope you learn at a young age that most boys are morons and will continuously act like one until they get your attention.  Do not give your attention away easily.

4.  I know that we are going to battle over clothing.  I already have battles on whether you wear a dress to school every day or not.  But if you ever bring home a pair of pants with the word “juicy” or “hot stuff” written on the rear end I reserve the right to make them disappear while you are sleeping.

5.  Tight clothes, short skirts, daisy dukes, bare midriffs and dressing like that gives boys the wrong idea.  I do not want boys to think of you that way EVER.  You are so much better than that.  You do not need to dress like that to get their attention and if you do you are asking for the wrong kind of attention.  It isn’t worth it.  You are way too special to be put on display like that and I will probably remind you of that on a daily basis.

6.  I really want you to learn the value of work.  You will have to mow the lawn and clean the house.  I will expect you to get good grades and to always try your best.  Work is so important and I always want you to work hard.  Don’t ever think you don’t have to work for what you want.

7.  You are going to be that kid that drives the “old car” to school when you turn sixteen.  I will not buy you a brand new car.  While you are driving it you will probably hate it and you will possibly have moments when you’re stuck in the parking lot because it won’t start.  But, I promise that you will look back on that car with such fond memories.  It will hold a special place in your heart.

8.  If you are ever in a place or situation that you are uncomfortable or feel uneasy, you can call me and I will drop what I’m doing and come and get you always.  Even if you have to throw me under the bus and use me as your excuse, that is fine.  I never want you to be somewhere that makes you uncomfortable.

9.  In many years when you look back at pictures of your youth, I promise you it WAS the style!  Just like big red glasses, huge bangs and leggings were the style back in my day.

10.  When you are in middle school there will come a time when you are embarrassed by your family.  I can take it.  Your dad can’t.  The day he finds out you are embarrassed with him and aren’t his little princess will break his heart.  Try really hard to not ever let him feel this way.  Be his little girl every once in a while even if it’s not “cool.”

11.  The “cool” group at school is 99% of the time where you do NOT want to be.  Even though it seems like they are having a great time, they generally aren’t.  And if your friends are only your friends because of the clothes you wear, what club you are in or how you fix your hair then they are not really your friends.  I don’t want you to be around people like that and it will save you a great deal of heartache to learn that lesson early.

12.  I hope you find at least one of those best friends that becomes a friend for a lifetime.  There is nothing like a friend that will be by your side through thick and thin.  A friend that will support you when mean girls are telling you your pants are too short.  A friend that will hold your hand when you don’t make the cheer-leading squad.  A friend that will stand up for you.  I hope you are blessed enough in life to find more than one of these.  They are so important.

13.  There will come a moment where you can decide to say something mean or something kind to some poor girl.  Please always be kind.

14.  I know you are going to make mistakes.  I know you are going to have heartaches.  I can’t stop that.  What matters is that you always come out of it better than you were before.  Don’t let those moments define you.

15.  Take every opportunity to learn, even if it’s not the cool thing to do.  Knowledge is invaluable and you will be all the more powerful for having it.  Read all the time and become lost in as many books as you can.

16.  Dating in high school is pointless.  Having lots of friends is so much better.  Save the dating for college and enjoy yourself.  Of course, there will be a boyfriend here and there but I really don’t want you to be the girl that always has to have a boyfriend.  Those girls are lame.

17.  There are going to be some girls/boys that will probably be mean, sometimes even cruel to you. Even though at that moment it seems like the end of the world, it isn’t.  They are just insecure people that have nothing better to do than to make other’s feel bad so they can feel better about themselves. If you let these girls make you feel less of yourself I will be so angry.  You are better than that. You are stronger than that.  And this is probably why I won’t let you have a facebook account when you get older.  That dang facebook.

18.  You are blessed with sisters.  Remember what I said about having a best friend?  Well having a sister as a best friend means that you are pretty much the luckiest girl ever.  Cherish your sisters. They will always be there for you and will always love you.  You will fight and bicker at times, but make sure you enjoy one another as much as possible.

19.  Don’t ever be afraid to try something.  Not making the team will be a smaller regret than not trying at all.  I already know you have so much potential to be great.  Don’t let your insecurities stop you from achieving greatness.

20.  I know you are going to get married someday.  Please find a man that will make you laugh, live his life with integrity, and treat you with respect.  And even more importantly, that he will allow you to call your mother frequently and visit her often.  And if it takes awhile to find “Mr. Right” that is okay, too. You just make sure that you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve.  I can say with most certainty that you do deserve the best.

Above all else my little girls I want you to remember that wherever you are and whatever you do I am always thinking of you.  I am always there for you.  And I love you unconditionally.  We will have our bad moments, I can guarantee that.  We will probably have those high pitched scream fights on occasion and a door may even be slammed once or twice.  But I promise that someday we will consider each other best friends.  We will get through all of this together.  And having each other, well, that makes us the luckiest of all.

annieA Mom Knows Contributor

About Annie

Once upon a time I taught second grade and preschool. Now I have three little princesses and spend a lot of time singing Disney songs, painting fingernails, moderating dramatic tantrums, reading Pinkalicious, having spontaneous dance parties and fixing lots of little girl hair. I teach piano lessons, love a good book and sitting with my husband at night watching t.v. My passion is the beach and I would like to be living my passion much more frequently.

29 Responses to For My Daughters

  1. kiki comin says:

    sweet, sweet, sweet. i loved this, annie.

  2. Monica says:

    I loved this so much, Annie! You are such a good writer and mother. I hope that I can keep this list for my kids too.

  3. Joni says:

    Best advice ever Annie!!

  4. Annie says:

    Thanks Kiki! You are such a great friend.

  5. Annie says:

    YOU are such a great mother Monica. I hope to be more like you.

  6. Annie says:

    Thanks Joni, that means a lot to me.

  7. Tiffany's Mummy says:

    Maybe it’s just me but reading this made me abit teary.. lol I really love this, I don’t usually comment on things but I just wanted to say this is really great, I hope you don’t mind me taking the idea and using it for my own princess 🙂

  8. Jessica says:

    And if they come to me I will tell your girls, honey, I’m sorry, it WASN’T the style but your mom insisted. Hahaha, yeah right. Never were 3 cuter girls and a better mom. How long did it take to write this? Seriously, it’s GOOD stuff. Stuff I would have needed months to come up with and more months to write down that eloquently.

  9. kara says:

    Don’t we all want to be more like Monica?! I am so happy you’re one of those greatest friends of mine!

  10. Heather says:

    This is such a precious and true list Annie! You truly are a great example of a fabulous mother of girls! They are so lucky to have you! I will be seeking a lot of advice from you as Alysa continues to grow and get older! Sure love ya girl. Keep up the amazing articles that are do inspiring.

  11. Annie says:

    Definitely use the idea! Thank you for your comment!

  12. Annie says:

    You would convince my kids of that!

  13. Annie says:

    Oh I love you Kara. I have definitely been blessed with some of those greatest friends. I’m so happy you are one of mine. I did always tell you have am exceptionally strong and will take any one down if necessary.

  14. Annie says:

    You’re so sweet Heather. Thank you!

  15. Trish Cox says:

    Beautiful Annie! I wish you had given me this advice back in the day. You always “had it together.” There are many things here that I want for my daughter as well. Your girls are so lucky to have you as a mom! Btw, whenever I watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I think of you!

  16. Shelby (Welling) Asay says:

    Annie this is awesome! Thank you for sharing now that you have compressed my thoughts for my little Alli. I can look back and refresh my memory 🙂

  17. Annie says:

    Thank you Trish! Your little girl is beautiful and I can only imagine what a wonderful mother you are. Hope you are doing well!

  18. Annie says:

    Shelby! So glad you enjoyed it. I can’t believe it is even possible for you to be old enough to have a little one! Thanks for the comment and hope you and your family are doing well.

  19. Gina Maria says:

    Totally made me tear up. I have 2 daughters and I feel the same way. I never understood why my mom did or said the things she did growing up. I now completely understand being a mom myself.

  20. Sarah says:

    Beautiful thoughts and advice! Thank you for sharing it!

  21. Hannah says:

    Okay…my sister linked me to this post and I just have to say that I LOVE it. I am the mother of 3 adorable, smart, funny girls who are also filled with attitude and spunk. I am expecting my 4th baby (but am leaving it a surprise). I have been thinking about so many of these things lately. My oldest is 6 going on 16 and her 4 year old sister is trying so hard to stay close behind. They are growing up too quickly and I want them to know all of these important things. You put it into words in such a great way. Thank you.

  22. Annie says:

    So glad you enjoyed it. Isn’t it funny how easy it is to see things in prospective when looking back.

  23. Annie says:

    Thank you so much for your comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it. It was nice to put into words what I had been thinking before my girls get too big.

  24. Annie says:

    Another mom of three girls! So glad you enjoyed the article. Thanks for the comment!

  25. Kristie Burnett says:

    Annie, great advice and so well written! loved this article and will definitely be sharing it on “that dang Facebook” 😉

  26. Juli Chan says:

    Such good advice Annie, I love it! I hope you don’t mind if I use this list for my girls too!

  27. Annie says:

    Thanks Kristie! And congrats on your new opportunities! I have been voting!

  28. Annie says:

    Of course you should use it for your girls! I can’t believe how big they are getting. It just seems like yesterday I was teaching a little one piano and now she is grown! Miss you!

  29. Emily Huston says:

    You are such a great writer and I must say you are great mother too that is well depicted in your article. Thanks for sharing such a valuable guide. Really going to link in to my other friends.