I have been blessed with three little girls. So basically my home is filled with lots of pink, drama and Barbies. When I was pregnant with my third and found out the gender I was worried that my husband would be disappointed, but he wasn’t. I suppose we were meant to be a family of girls. We couldn’t love them more. In honor of my daughters, who seem to fill every moment of my day, I wanted to write a letter to them. I want to give them 20 pieces of advice to help them navigate this treacherous journey called life. And I want to have this in print so I can refer to it when the moment presents itself.
1. Don’t be ashamed to play with dolls or toys until you’re a teenager. There is no shame in it. You only get one childhood and you only get so many years to play, so play hard. Childhood is fleeting and you need to enjoy every minute. I PROMISE I won’t tell your friends/dad/sisters if you don’t want me to. I’ll even yell at them if they dare make fun of you. To be honest, it makes me sad to think of a day that I don’t get to hear your little imagination come to life.
2. Kids at school are going to tell you all kinds of weird stuff. Always check with me before you believe ANY of it. I know for a fact one of my brothers thought his friend’s grandpa was buried in the school playground and I had one girl tell me that she saw a human hand come out of the floor of her bedroom. These kids are full of it.
3. If the boys are chasing you, pulling your hair, hitting you, making fun or any/all of the above this means that they like you. I hope you learn at a young age that most boys are morons and will continuously act like one until they get your attention. Do not give your attention away easily.
4. I know that we are going to battle over clothing. I already have battles on whether you wear a dress to school every day or not. But if you ever bring home a pair of pants with the word “juicy” or “hot stuff” written on the rear end I reserve the right to make them disappear while you are sleeping.
5. Tight clothes, short skirts, daisy dukes, bare midriffs and dressing like that gives boys the wrong idea. I do not want boys to think of you that way EVER. You are so much better than that. You do not need to dress like that to get their attention and if you do you are asking for the wrong kind of attention. It isn’t worth it. You are way too special to be put on display like that and I will probably remind you of that on a daily basis.
6. I really want you to learn the value of work. You will have to mow the lawn and clean the house. I will expect you to get good grades and to always try your best. Work is so important and I always want you to work hard. Don’t ever think you don’t have to work for what you want.
7. You are going to be that kid that drives the “old car” to school when you turn sixteen. I will not buy you a brand new car. While you are driving it you will probably hate it and you will possibly have moments when you’re stuck in the parking lot because it won’t start. But, I promise that you will look back on that car with such fond memories. It will hold a special place in your heart.
8. If you are ever in a place or situation that you are uncomfortable or feel uneasy, you can call me and I will drop what I’m doing and come and get you always. Even if you have to throw me under the bus and use me as your excuse, that is fine. I never want you to be somewhere that makes you uncomfortable.
9. In many years when you look back at pictures of your youth, I promise you it WAS the style! Just like big red glasses, huge bangs and leggings were the style back in my day.
10. When you are in middle school there will come a time when you are embarrassed by your family. I can take it. Your dad can’t. The day he finds out you are embarrassed with him and aren’t his little princess will break his heart. Try really hard to not ever let him feel this way. Be his little girl every once in a while even if it’s not “cool.”
11. The “cool” group at school is 99% of the time where you do NOT want to be. Even though it seems like they are having a great time, they generally aren’t. And if your friends are only your friends because of the clothes you wear, what club you are in or how you fix your hair then they are not really your friends. I don’t want you to be around people like that and it will save you a great deal of heartache to learn that lesson early.
12. I hope you find at least one of those best friends that becomes a friend for a lifetime. There is nothing like a friend that will be by your side through thick and thin. A friend that will support you when mean girls are telling you your pants are too short. A friend that will hold your hand when you don’t make the cheer-leading squad. A friend that will stand up for you. I hope you are blessed enough in life to find more than one of these. They are so important.
13. There will come a moment where you can decide to say something mean or something kind to some poor girl. Please always be kind.
14. I know you are going to make mistakes. I know you are going to have heartaches. I can’t stop that. What matters is that you always come out of it better than you were before. Don’t let those moments define you.
15. Take every opportunity to learn, even if it’s not the cool thing to do. Knowledge is invaluable and you will be all the more powerful for having it. Read all the time and become lost in as many books as you can.
16. Dating in high school is pointless. Having lots of friends is so much better. Save the dating for college and enjoy yourself. Of course, there will be a boyfriend here and there but I really don’t want you to be the girl that always has to have a boyfriend. Those girls are lame.
17. There are going to be some girls/boys that will probably be mean, sometimes even cruel to you. Even though at that moment it seems like the end of the world, it isn’t. They are just insecure people that have nothing better to do than to make other’s feel bad so they can feel better about themselves. If you let these girls make you feel less of yourself I will be so angry. You are better than that. You are stronger than that. And this is probably why I won’t let you have a facebook account when you get older. That dang facebook.
18. You are blessed with sisters. Remember what I said about having a best friend? Well having a sister as a best friend means that you are pretty much the luckiest girl ever. Cherish your sisters. They will always be there for you and will always love you. You will fight and bicker at times, but make sure you enjoy one another as much as possible.
19. Don’t ever be afraid to try something. Not making the team will be a smaller regret than not trying at all. I already know you have so much potential to be great. Don’t let your insecurities stop you from achieving greatness.
20. I know you are going to get married someday. Please find a man that will make you laugh, live his life with integrity, and treat you with respect. And even more importantly, that he will allow you to call your mother frequently and visit her often. And if it takes awhile to find “Mr. Right” that is okay, too. You just make sure that you don’t settle for anything less than you deserve. I can say with most certainty that you do deserve the best.
Above all else my little girls I want you to remember that wherever you are and whatever you do I am always thinking of you. I am always there for you. And I love you unconditionally. We will have our bad moments, I can guarantee that. We will probably have those high pitched scream fights on occasion and a door may even be slammed once or twice. But I promise that someday we will consider each other best friends. We will get through all of this together. And having each other, well, that makes us the luckiest of all.